May 2012
8 posts
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Spectacularly F*cked: The Beginning of the Job...
If I see one more facebook status about someone getting a job, I’m gonna have to stab a bitch. And it’s only been a month of searching.
I tweeted a few days ago that I should start blogging about my job search. Because I’ve now graduated college, I’ve learned how impatient I am. And I mean, I’ve got a creative degree from an overly expensive college and some student...
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I’ve noted on here that I do freelance writing for money. It’s nice, because money buys food, and writing gets money, and it’s like my one marketable skill. But that’s not the point.
I’m writing my second wedding speech this week. Not for me of course; this time it’s for a man’s brother, whose getting married. I almost want to start this as a business,...
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Conversations with a Friend 1: Pigeons
Sam: GREAT, GLAD TO HEAR FROM YOU ON A NON SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM
Cliff: I SENT A CARRIER PIGEON. DID BRUCE MAKE IT?
Sam: NO OF COURSE NOT BECAUSE HE IS VERY UNRELIABLE
Cliff: HE WON BEST PIGEON OF THE YEAR IN '07. HOW DARE YOU
Sam: WHAT WAS HE DOING THE NEXT FIVE YEARS? POOPING ON CIVILIANS?!
Cliff: HE TOOK A YEAR TO PAINT THE SWISS ALPS. F*CK YOU
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Fuck Your Blog- Childish Gambino (feat. Flynt...
I’m performing on stage two nights this week. Other people are performing my first staged production one night this week. And I’m on TV the remaining night this week. Considering I’m about to graduate, this is….
The coolest thing
Inspiration for some Mad Men style work drinking
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WatchSneak Peek of Wednesday’s Episode of Total Blackout
Yup. That’s me in the beginning
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Seau
I can’t stop thinking about the Junior Seau death. I’m not a Chargers fan, though it’s the closest team to me geographically, and so I do feel a closeness with the team in terms of that. Junior Seau was one of those people that played the game for as long as I can remember, along with guys like Kurt Warner or Jerry Rice. It just seemed like they were always in the game since I...
April 2012
9 posts
1 tag
400 Posts
Sorry for everyone who followed me over the damn HIMYM list for the other 399. Other than that… woo?
Cooking
One of my favorite things to do in life, funny enough, is to cook. It’s something I only realized I had a joy with in the last year or so. If you’re ADHD and a perfectionist to some degree, I’d recommend it. I could actually care less about grades, sports ability, or anything cliche with the term “perfection”, but I’ll be quite competitive when it comes to...
A Night in the Life
Tonight, my senior class had it’s commencement ball. My fraternity had a toga party. Where was I? At the Irvine Improv, working my ass off, making people laugh and organizing a show. It’s moments like these that make me think I’ve been in the wrong mental mainframe as the people I surround myself with normally. Thank God for those comedians who make me normal. Salud.
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Salute Your Solution- The Raconteurs
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Baseball Fever
Hi, my name is Cliff Clinton, and I have baseball fever. I didn’t mean to catch it. I heard all the warnings like you did; I should be careful when going to games or flipping through channels, fantasy sports are a gateway drug, make sure to use protection. These were all warnings I ignored, and now I’m addicted. Tragically.
I’ve been going to games forever. Since I can remember,...
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Texts with My Mom 5: Hooters
Mom: What are you doing tonight?
Cliff: VIP Dinner at Hooters like a Mother F*cking Boss!
Mom: At Saddleback (Church) thanking god for his son and all the gifts he gave us
March 2012
9 posts
2 tags
Tunezy.com Blog: Boyce Avenue vs. Linkin Park: The... →
My first article for a really cool website’s blog called Tunezy.
tunezy:
It’s arguably the song that you couldn’t get off of your radio last year. Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” went through the ringer, too. If your local radio station wasn’t playing “Rolling in the Deep”, they were probably playing “Someone Like You”. If your radio station featured more songs in…
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Think Your Online Date Was Bad? →
A treasury from a favorite website of mine consisting of the World’s Worst Online Dating Stories
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The Broken Toy
There’s been a weird culmination of thought boiling inside my head in the last day or so. Consider it a direct effect of what I’ve been watching or writing. There’s a play right now, called “8”, that’s sweeping the nation. It’s an A-list cast that chronicles the trial that led to the overturning of Proposition 8, the law that passed in California that...
Anonymous asked: Do you think you're going to get married and have a family? If not, why. If so, how do you envision it?
beckspage asked: what song do you think describes your life? if you could pick a different one, which song would it be?
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Ask Cliff #2: It's That Time Again
Alright, now a quick note. I know this is ridiculous and seems totally cocky, but I’ve got three reasons why I’m doing this
I haven’t written anything of substance in a long time,
I really don’t want to write this script.
The topics I got last time were amazing, and they were truly on anything. Not formspring type crud, actual questions.
So help me give you something...
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February 2012
5 posts
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Parker Ainsworth- The Projectionist
Spoken word...
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January 2012
4 posts
3 tags
The Alison Brie Phone Call
I like to think I know a lot of people. I also like to think I’m a pretty good friend and I do my best to keep in contact with everybody. But every so often, that friend of yours goes above and beyond for you, and makes your day.
I’ve known Brendan since my freshman year of college. We met during orientation, and following the path of my high school friend Taylor, I ended up in his...
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Last Comic Standing In The Rain →
I mentioned this audition awhile ago and finally got around to writing the actual article, and Yahoo was interested in hosting it! Check out one of my first big steps into, you know, whatever the crap I’m doing now
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Cliff Clinton Talks Super Bowl and What it Means... →
Hey readers, I’d really appreciate you reading this really short piece. I’m getting paid a bit for each article, but if you like it, feel free to reblog it to my utter appreciation. But either way, read it a little!
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Five Pieces of History That Are Worth a Little...
Forgive me, fair internet, but for the last few weeks to pay rent I’ve been backlogged with articles about septic tanks and random internet hosting and the super bowl and college tuition. I’ve written about nothing fun, and I wonder if anyone reading my shit has caught onto my feigned enthusiasm (I repeat: septic tanks). So, I need this. I also need to keep visualizing that I’m...
December 2011
5 posts
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Neon Hitch- No Hands (Waka Flaka Cover)
Dance,...
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Little Sur- Barbarossa
When I say this is an...
November 2011
9 posts
4 tags
Slapsgiving Drinking Game
Preface: My friend Riley and I have this tradition. We’re both big fans of HIMYM, we’re hard-and-fast followers of the show, and we watch every episode we can together on Monday night at her house. Even if we can’t get together, we text about it and touch base on how we’re feeling. It’s like television co-dependency: we both depend on the show, but it won’t...
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Time is Love
I really dislike the saying “time is money”. I know it’s not a very original thought, I can’t say this blog has ever taken any great heart in being a unique source for original thought. It’s just a phrase that bugs me because it’s become a pretty accepted truth. I mean, when was the last time, when a buddy of yours sling-shotted the phrase your way to hurry you...
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Christmas with the Kids
I live in a house with three other dudes. It’s a house built in the 1930’s in Orange, CA. It’s right next to Anaheim, but even closer to Chapman University, the school I attend. I might end up staying here for the holidays. It’s not abnormal for a student not to be able to go home for every holiday, but it is when they’re only thirty minutes from home. A spirited days...
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“This is on a bus back from camp. I’m 13 and so are you. Before I left for camp I...”
– Donald Glover, aka Childish Gambino, ends his last song That Power with a spoken word poem. It’s the end of his newest album, Camp, and though the songs are amazing, this is equally beautiful too. And no one does this.
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Texts with My Mom 4: Dying
Mom: U were such a cute kid
Cliff: Ummm....are you dying?
Mom: someday
